lazy days...

I am sitting by the window in one of the million coffee shops in Portland. I have been reading and Rach has been working. The sun keeps flitting back and forth behind the clouds. It is a morning I feel somewhat content with myself. I am someone who loves to read, to explore. I enjoy the sunshine and trees. I have no problem being inside all day or staying outside in the sun. I have days of restlessness and can be completely awkward and nerdy. I love to learn and miss school. I want to know my family and friends more deeply and yet have days I would just as soon be by myself.

Being here seems strange on days like this. Though its beautiful it doesn't yet feel like home but rather as if I am living another version of a life I was already used to. I miss being deeply involved in a church family, spending time with my high school girls, being able to go down the road to see a friend from college. Yet I love being able to see my mom for the weekend and have lunch with my dad when he is working outside the city. It feels somedays as if I am pulled in two directions, held by a strange tension or balance between the two.

The interview at OHSU went well I think. At least it went much better than last time though I wouldn't say great. I will hear from them and from PSU sometime in the next 3-4 weeks. I find myself looking longingly up at the medical school sitting proudly on top of the hill. It seems still like a dream to think about being part of the community there. Interviewing there confirmed yet again how much I believe I would love the study there and the people. We shall see.

I am currently working at safeway ( a grocery store) around the corner from my house. I am starting to get the hang out of it and its easy work. Not work I love but not work I hate either. It just is. I miss the doctors office but I am content for the moment to wait out schools and stay with this job and its flexible hours.

Matt is coming to visit next week and then after him Richelle. We have had visitors almost every month and it has been wonderful. What a gift your presence has been!

Love to each of you!